Forrest Griffin Facts

Ever heard of Chuck Norris facts? They are basically ridiculous facts/jokes about the awesome Chuck Norris. Well Forrest Griffin is a former UFC light heavyweight champion and deserves his own joke page! Submit your own facts by scrolling all the way to the bottom of the page and filling in your joke in the text box, and I will post it on the site!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Forrest Griffin sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper, insisting that that is "his way"

Before Forrest Griffin steps into the octagon, he is injected with 15 times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer to limit his strength a...

When Forrest Griffin goes into a crowd of people, he does not walk around them. He walks through them.

America is not a democracy. It is a Griffintatorship.

Forrest Griffin doesn't get frostbite. Forrest Griffin bites frost.

Forrest Griffin is so fast and has so much stamina that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Forrest Griffin does not sleep. He waits.

Outer space exists because it is afraid to live on the same planet as Forrest Griffin.

Forrest Griffin doesn't read books, he simply stares at them until they give him the information he needs.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Forrest Griffin.

Forrest Griffin's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

The Titanic did not hit an iceburg. The ship was off course and hit Forrest Griffin while he was doing the backstroke across the atlantic.

Global Warming is a myth. Forrest Griffin was cold so he turned the sun up.

In the beginning of time, there was nothing. Then Forrest Griffin leg-kicked that nothing and said get a job. That is how the universe was f...

Everyone will die at one point in their life. Except Forrest Griffin.

Forrest Griffin once at a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Forrest Griffin has never wet the bed, the bed wet itself out of fear.

What is going through all of Forrest Griffin's victims before they die? His fist.

There is no theory of evolution, just animals Forrest Griffin allowed to live.

When Forrest Griffin goes into water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Forrest Griffin.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

When Forrest Griffin does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

If by some incredible space-time paradox, Forrest Griffin could ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

The Terminator movies are based on Forrest Griffin's life.

When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Forrest Griffin.

Forrest Griffin invented every color. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Forrest Griffin counted to infinity. Twice.

Forrest Griffin once beat a brick wall in tennis.

If you google "Forrest Griffin" it returns 0 results because google knows you don't fid Forrest Griffin. Forrest Griffin finds...

A handicap parking spot does not actually mean you have to display handicap tags, it simply means that spot is reserved for Forrest Griffin ...

If at first you do not succeed, you are not Forrest Griffin.

In any living room there are at least 1,343 items Forrest Griffin can kill you with. Including the room itself.

Forrest Griffin and Chuck Liddell walked into a Las Vegas bar and it was instantly destroyed because the bar could not handle that level of ...

Forrest Griffin doesn't own any clocks or watches. He decides what time it is.

Back in WW2, Forrest Griffin shot down German planes by pointing his finger and yelling "bang!"

Forrest Griffin played russian roullette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Some people wear superman pajamas. Superman wears Forrest Griffin pajamas.

Forrest Griffin is the reason Waldo is hiding.

One time my friend questioned Forrest Griffin. He no longer exists.

Forrest Griffin can win a game of connect four with three moves.

A synonym for dead is "Griffined".

Forrest Griffin can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Forrest Griffin can slam a revolving door.

Forrest Griffin can touch MC Hammer.

Forrest Griffin can read Lady GaGa's poker face.

Forrest Griffin has no use for a periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Forrest Griffin once clogged a toilet just with his pee.

Forrest Griffin ordered a big mac from Burger King and got one.

Forrest Griffin can divide by 0.

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