Forrest Griffin Facts

Ever heard of Chuck Norris facts? They are basically ridiculous facts/jokes about the awesome Chuck Norris. Well Forrest Griffin is a former UFC light heavyweight champion and deserves his own joke page! Submit your own facts by scrolling all the way to the bottom of the page and filling in your joke in the text box, and I will post it on the site!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Forrest Griffin can be unlocked in the hardest level of Tekken. But only Forrest Griffin is skilled enough to unlock himself. He leg kicks t...

Forrest Griffin qualified with a top speed of 324 at the Daytona 500 without a car.

Forrest Griffin's first job was a paper boy. There were no survivors.

Forrest Griffin doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys bedframes, chairs, and sidewalks.

In the x-men movies, none of the powers are shown with special effects. Forrest Griffin is just the stuntman for every character.

Who let the dogs out? Forrest Griffin let the dogs out.

Little know medical fact: Forrest Griffin inveted the c-section by kicking his way out of his mother's womb.

Forrest Griffin had the idea to sell his urine as a drink. We know this drink as Red Bull.

Forrest Griffin was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.

Not everyone Forrest Griffin gets mad at is killed. Some escape. They are known as astronauts.

As an infant, Forrest Griffin's parents gave him a hammer as a toy. Forrest Griffin gave the world stonehenge.

Back when Forrest Griffin was training to be a cop, he would do undercover work by pinning the badge under his shirt directly to his chest.

When Forrest Griffin was born, he did not drink breast milk. His mother fed him whisky straight out of the bottle.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to dissemble after watching Forrest Griffin on UFC.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Forrst Griffin were cloned, then it would be possible for a Forrest Griffin leg kick to meet another Fo...

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Forrest Griffin. Select rating Cancel...

Some kids play kick the can. Forrest Griffin played kick the keg.

Forrest Griffin was what Willis was talkin' bout

Most people fear the reaper, Forrest Griffin considers him "a promising rookie."

Forrest Griffin never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teet...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

When Forrest Griffin enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off

Forrest Griffin can drown a fish

Forrest Griffin can tie his shoes with his feet

Forrest Griffin once punched a man in the soul

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Forrest Griffin didn’t kill you in your sleep

Forrest Griffin once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff

Forrest Griffin can kill two stones with one bird

Forrest Griffin once had a heart attack; his heart lost

Forrest Griffin can build a snowman out of rain

Forrest Griffin doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now.”

When Forrest Griffin exercises, the machine gets stronger

Forrest Griffin is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face

Forrest Griffin has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants

Forrest Griffin’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Forrest Griffin will not take crap from anyone

Giraffes were created when Forrest Griffin uppercutted a horse

When Forrest Griffin gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live

Forrest Griffin does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Forrest Griffin goes killing

Forrest Griffin was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone stan...

Once a cobra bit Forrest Griffin's leg. After 5 days of excruciating pain the cobra died.

Forrest Griffin died 10 years ago but the grim reaper can't summon the courage to tell him.

Forrest Griffin was originally supposed to be the main character of 24 but was replaced when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the...

Forrest Griffin's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Forrest Griffin's calendar goes straig from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Forrest Griffin.

Hand sanitizers kill 99.9% of germs. Forrest Griffin kills 100% of whatever the hell he wants.

Some people piss their name into snow. Forrest Griffin pisses his name into concrete.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Forrest Griffin can judge a book by it's cover.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story-Forrest Griffin once at a whole turtle and when he crapped it out it was 6 feet tall a...

Forrest Griffin uses live rattlesnakes as condoms.

Forrest Griffin eats beef jerky and shits gunpowder which he uses to make bullets. He then uses the bullets to kill more cows and make more ...

It is scientifically impossible that Forrest Griffin had a mortal father. The most popular theory is Forrest Griffin went back in time and f...

Forrest Griffin does not sleep. He waits.

Forrest Griffin is the only man in the world who can email a leg kick.

Tom Clancy had to pay royalties to Forrest Griffin because "The Sum Of All Fears" is the title of Forrest Griffin's autobiogra...

A kick from Forrest Griffin wouldn't kill you. It would wipe out your complete existance from the space-time continuum.

Forrest Griffin is responsible for China's overpopulation. He went there to train and instantly all the women within a 20000 mile radius...

Baskin Robbins actually only has 30 flavors. Forrest Griffin doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

Forrest Griffin shot the sherrif, but he leg kicked the deputy.

Forrest Griffin doesn't bowl strikes. He hits one pin and the other 9 faint.

Forrest Griffim did, in fact, build Rome in a day.

Forrest Griffin doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

Forrest Griffin puts his pants on one leg at a time just like us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

When Forrest Griffin was denied an egg McMuffin because it was 10:35 he leg kicked the restaurant so hard it became a Wendys.

When taking the SAT, write "Forrest Griffin" for every answer and you will automatically get a perfect score.

Every year Forrest Griffin has to pay taxes he sends in blank forms and a picture of him croutching ready to attack. Forrest Griffin has nev...

Forrest Griffin uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

It takes Forrest Griffin 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.

Forrest Griffin proved we are alone in this universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

Police label attacking Forrest Griffin a 45-11...a suicide.

Forrest Griffin was originally in "Street Fighter II" but was removed when testers found a glitch that made every button trigger a...

Forrest Griffin can taste lies.

Forrest Griffin will attain statehood in 2011. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Ozzy Ozbourne bites the heads of bats. Forrest Griffin bites the heads off of Tigers.

Forrest Griffin uses 8 by 10 sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

Ladies, the quickest way to a man's heart is with Forrest Griffin's fist.

Some people enjoy eating frog legs. Forrest Griffin likes eating lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

There are no steroids in baseball, just players Forrest Griffin has breathed on.

With the rising price of gasoline, Forrest Griffin is beginning to worry about his drinking habbit.

Guns don't kill people. Forrest Griffin kills people.

The square root of Forrest Griffin is pain. Do not try to square Forrest Griffin-the result is death.

Forrest Griffin does not eat. Food understands the only safe haven from Forrest Griffin is in his own stomach.

Nothing can escape the gravity of black holes. Except Forrest Griffin. Forrest Griffin eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

In the bible, Jesus turned water into wine. Then Forrest Griffin turned that wine into beer.

Forrest Griffin once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Forrest Griffin once made a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay standing on the 50 yard line of Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego.

Someone once video taped Forrest Griffin getting pissed off. They called it "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless that side has been visited by Forrest Griffin. In that case the grass will be covered ...

Forrest Griffin has no doors. Only walls he walks through.

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Forrest Griffin needs toothpicks.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Forrest Griffin.

Forrest Griffin doesn't own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

The spotlight on top of the Luxor in Las Vegas isn't the only thing that can be seen from outerspace. Forrest Griffin's leg kick is ...

Kryptonite has trace amounts of Forrest Griffin leg kicks. That's why it is so deadly to superman.

The chief export of Forrest Griffin is pain.

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba is military codeword for Forrest Griffin's basement.

Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind every dead man there is Forrest Griffin.

Forrest Griffin got his driver's license at the age of 16. Seconds.

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything better than a fish and Forrest Griffin will beat his ass and take it.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Forrest Griffin once went skydiving, but vowed to never do it again. One Grand Canyon is good enough.

Forrest Griffin does not give blood with a syringe, he uses a shotgun and a bucket.

Forrest Griffin doesn't churn butter. He leg kicks the cows and butter comes straight out.

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